My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Pants are for mortals
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
