Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
