I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
