do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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