I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
