I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
