big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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