How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
