I must be too annoying 4 u.
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
