He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
