Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
