so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
