is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Say something about gay babies.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
