Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
