I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
