you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
