Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
