This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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