Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my shit smells like andre
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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