please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
