he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
