bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
