There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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