Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
