What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
