There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Text me some of your sweat
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