I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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