may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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