So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
