he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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