Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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