Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
even my farts smell like vagina
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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