Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
