Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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