I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
