So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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