She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
