make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
