Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
accomplished twins. life is a go
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
