Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
