we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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