I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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