at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
