Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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