Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
sex in a hospital.. check
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
