How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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