I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
