I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
