Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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