So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
