Already got asked if we're dating
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
