Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
